Seriously, I forgot what I titled this poem. Memory pending. Edit: "My Position."

What is repetition if not

an unnecessary submission

to rhyming by attrition?

Attrition if not just

a lack of ambition?

Ambition if not the

lack of tradition?

Tradition is then but

the repetition of a lack

of one’s own volition.

Adjusting the Primal

I came into pain. I did not remember how, nor did I recall, much less understand, why. Even after sorting out my thoughts and analyzing them immediately after, no explanation came. My memory of the event, on the other hand, was changed as a result of that analysis.

I, a needle stuck in my right arm, felt the first effects of unconsciousness pulling at the edges of clarity in the doctor’s office. This was momentarily after assuring the nurse I felt fine and moments before updating my answer to a significantly less reassuring “okay, now I don’t.” My next memory was unlike any other I’ve ever experienced in my life. I did not understand who or where I was, satisfying the most basic levels of awareness only through the acknowledgement of pain. To all intents and purposes, I was not thinking. I did not process information, no immediate conclusions or logical streams of thought carried themselves through my mind. I was aware of only, and awareness in fact was, an uncompromising pain that spread through every particle of my body, pain receptor-free brain excluded. My brain was instead plagued with the fear of incomprehensible information, a pain all its own.

The pain varied in intensity but did not subside, waxing without the relief of waning, every additional increment building upon what was already there. It increased, pushing past what my brain assumed was the maximum, until it crashed down, allowing room for self-awareness, the realization of what had happened and my usual method of dealing with misfortune: cynicism; “Oh, I fainted.” It was the first thing I said, hopefully as nonchalantly as I intended to, though I had more pressing issues to deal with at the moment.

Immediately, I sought to figure out what had happened. Since I still remembered the pain, sharp though dulling in my memory as the seconds clicked by, I assumed it was in my short-term memory, generally spanning over a length of 20-30 seconds. This knowledge was, at that point, essentially useless, a mere attempt to control something utterly beyond my control. While I remembered the pain itself, I had no way of describing it. Metaphor after metaphor spilled into my mind, followed shortly by past experiences, each inadequate in its own way, each a failure in my attempts to describe my experience to myself. Salt spilled into an open wound, literary, but not a personal experience, it’d have to make room for something more relevant; hitting a nerve against a hard object, too numb, though it provides the necessary saturation of an area. A punch to the solar plexus replicates the feeling of helplessness and defeat, but doesn’t carry with it the literally mind-numbing pain. Walking on a leg that decided to fall asleep due to poor circulation has the same numbness and unavoidable pain, though blown away in magnitude the way a candle would be by the sun’s wind. To this day, I have no comparable experience nor can I in full honesty claim that I understand what caused what I can only describe as an episode, or put more optimistically, a lesson in primal fear.

In hindsight, remembering a time when I wasn’t thinking is odd. I remember seeing my surroundings, the office, nurse and doctor, called in as soon as I blacked out, but not understanding any of them for what they were. I can’t remember any sounds, yet I assume the nurse and doctor were talking to me. I remember the wave of awareness that cleared away the incomprehensible mess of information that I was unable to process, yet not the state, or lack thereof, of awareness that preceded it. It is in essence a memory dominated so thoroughly by one characteristic, pain, that it is a memory of pain, with everything else, including memory itself, giving way to allow more for nothing other than more pain.

At the same time, it is a memory I know I have modified. This occurred partially as a result of thoughtful contemplation, intended to clarify the record of events, as well as the natural processes that govern my mind’s workings, specifically my memory. The human memory works by association but I can not adequately imagine the level of pain I felt, or a comparable one. Instead, my mind defaults to the closest approximation I can conjure up, the result of several metaphors and other memories blending together to create as close a memory as I can, based upon what I remembered directly after my cynical statement and the inevitable mental review that followed.

I remember seeing the nurse but not comprehending her image, assigning her, as a concept, to her image in my memory, retrospectively. The blurry memory of the room allowed me to figure out my body’s position and my head’s angle as slouching to the left and looking down, again, purely in retrospective analysis. Judging from the self-preservative tendency to test one’s body by moving, I can guess that the waves of pain were caused by attempts to move, with each successive wave inciting further movement, a painful feedback loop.

I can not help but wonder if my mind could have handled the situation in a different way. Did searching in vain for the source of pain delay my eventual awareness, and with it, the pain’s alleviation? If I was less inquisitive naturally, would I have been spared some fraction of pain? By even entertaining the idea, I’ve accepted a grain of blame, yet another part of the memory that I know, for a fact, I added. These modifications were made immediately, as I reviewed my short-term memory and processed it. Later, as well as in the course of this documentation, these modifications were reinforced, cemented in their truth by repetition and acknowledgement.

What my memory boils down to is the unexplained removal of the very nature of my being from my conscious awareness. Essentially an inhuman memory shaped by human thought.

Extrapolations from Zinn’s A People’s History Regarding the Origins of Colonial Racism as a Method of and for Class Warfare

Howard Zinn's A People's History of the United States[1] spends a substantial amount of time analyzing the use of racism as a system of control over both the enslaved population and the poor white lower class, essentially manifesting itself as a conscious effort on the part of the rich white upper class to use class warfare in order to maintain stability and to quell uprisings. To begin, Zinn introduces the origins of America's system of black slavery: necessity. In 1619, Virginians were hungry, unable to grow enough food but made aware of tobacco's value on the other side of the Atlantic, unable to enslave the Native Americans, unable to force white servants to work the necessary amounts and unwilling to work themselves. Thus they resorted to slave labor, in the form of blacks shipped in from Africa, prior to any attempts at a justification from the argument of inferiority that the ideology of racism presents.

Zinn is careful to make clear that slaves were imported for inhumane treatment before the racist justification sprung up, noting that, by 1619, a million blacks had already been brought to South and Central America to work as slaves.[2] The counterpoint to this is that whites were also “imported” as indentured servants and abused, so the malignant treatment of blacks was a general one and had little to do with their skin color and/or origin. The reason for the black people's selection for chattel slavery over Native Americans and whites is further expounded upon; they are entirely out of their element with no structure to support them. Slavery thus begins in colonial America simply as a matter of convenience and the quest for profit. This, however, is not how it ends.

This brief summary of black slavery aside, the plight of white indentured servants should be discussed on nearly equal grounds, both for moral reasons and those of context. Masters were allowed to beat, whip and rape their servants, pack them like sardines into ships on their voyage to America, restrict their marriages, and generally treat them as if they were slaves.[3] Black slaves and white servants would spend their free time together, whether it for recreational (drinking, coitus, etc) purposes or for attempts at escape. This growing unity between the enslaved blacks and indentured whites led to fears among the upper class, who were dangerously outnumbered by the lower class and eventually, in steadily more regions, by both the white servants and black slaves individually. Clearly, this represented a significant chunk of the population with nearly identical goals and, essentially, nothing to lose and thus revolts did occur, the upper class was scared and measures had to be taken.

It is this similarity to slaves that necessitated the creation of a division between the two groups, both submerged in poverty. One of the most blatant examples of manipulation is the employment of poor whites to handle blacks, such as in the case of Virginia's slave patrols in the 1720's.[4] Not to be excluded, the Native American people were used against the black population as well, as the Creeks and Cherokees earlier had "harbored runaway slaves by the hundreds," [5] which was, obviously, impermissible. Instead, a "combination of harsh slave codes and bribes" helped avert that potentially disastrous union.

Interracial marriages and pregnancies were common and, therefore, a problem. Had there “been the natural racial repugnance that some theorists have assumed, control would have been easier.” Since it wasn’t quite so easy, a grand jury, in 1743, “denounced ‘The Too Common Practice of Criminal Conversation with Negro and other Slave Wenches in this Province,’” As a result of this and other rulings, interracial marriages were prohibited and the offspring was deemed illegitimate. This resulted in the mixed race offspring being “stuck” with the colored label and the white parent remaining purely white, promoting the perceived purity of the white race. [6]

As evidence of Zinn's agreement with the notion of racism being used as a method of control over the lower classes, both those innocently perpetuating it and those suffering at its hands, he agreeably quotes Edmund Morgan who "sees racism not as 'natural' to black-white difference,” because of the earlier evidence of their fellowship, “but something coming out of class scorn, a realistic device for control." In addition, Morgan's own words are included; "If freemen with disappointed hopes should make common cause with slaves of desperate hope, the results might be worse than anything Bacon['s rebellion] had done. The answer to the problem, obvious if unspoken and only gradually recognized, was racism, to separate dangerous free whites from dangerous black slaves by a screen of racial contempt." [7][8] Bacon’s rebellion met its end with surrender, having a total roster of “‘four hundred English and Negroes in Armes’ at one garrison, and three hundred ‘freemen and African and English bond-servants” at another garrison,” positive proof of rebellion cooperation between indentured whites and enslaved blacks, with disastrous consequences. [9] Years later, further proof came about; naval impressments sparked a riot in Boston, described by a merchant’s group as a “Riotous Tumultuous Assembly of Foreign Seamen, Servants, Negroes, and other Person’s of mean and Vile Condition.” [10]

This proof, the immediate danger that presented itself so clearly to the upper class, forced the implementation of racist ideology as a method of oppression and division, occupying the minds and efforts of the poor whites rather than allowing them the possibility of successful revolt. Zinn covers the subject and inclusion of racist ideology into colonial America’s class warfare as part of his greater discussion focusing on the upper class’ efforts against the lower class, whites, blacks and every shade in between included. Our own course included Barbara Fields’ argument for racism as an ideology, focusing strongly on its present form and the practical aspects of it being an ideology, while Zinn’s additions provide the background info for its inception and the circumstances surrounding it, the perfect supplement.

---

[1] Howard Zinn. A People's History of the United States: 1492 - Present. New York City: HarperCollins Publishers, Inc., 1995.

[2] Zinn, 25

[3] Zinn, 43-44

[4] Zinn, 56

[5] Zinn, 55

[6] Zinn, 55

[7] Zinn, 56 Note: Zinn quotes Edmund Morgan

[8] Edward S Morgan. American Slavery, American Freedom: The Ordeal of Colonial Virginia. New York: W. W. Norton, 1975 (Taken from Zinn’s bibliography)

[9] Zinn, 55

[10] Zinn, 51

The Inconspicuous Ideological State Apparatus in Hughes' On The Road

Sargeant, the main character of Langston Hughes' On The Road encounters classical examples of both an ideological state apparatus (hereafter referred to as the ISA), in the form of religion and apparent culturally grounded widespread racism, and the repressive state apparatus (RSA), represented by the police. Under those circumstances where labor perpetuation, as necessitated by the state apparatuses, is impossible, they revert instead to simple control, in this case doing it so thoroughly that Sargeant does not simply consume it innocently but is instead entirely unaware of its existence. In this instance, the RSA serves to reinforce and protect the ISA's efforts. To this end, when Sargeant accidentally breaks though the metaphorical ISA, the RSA are immediately on the scene to prevent any further damage to the figurative structure of the ISA.

The ISA, as defined by Louis Althusser in his Ideology and Ideological State Apparatuses, is one of the varied "realities that present themselves to the immediate observer in the form of distinct and specialized institutions" (Althusser, 1489). Including, but not limited to, the religious, legal and cultural systems in play within a society, the ISAs present Sargeant with his first obstacle, the Reverend. However, the Reverend is presented with a conundrum: while the inherent goal of the ISA and RSA is "reproduce the conditions of its production at the same time as it produces," (Althusser, 1484) this is not possible "one early evening during the depression" (Hughes). The Reverend is, as a result, not generous, for his generosity would bear religion as an ISA no positive benefit.

Along with the Reverend, Hughes brings the metaphor of the white snow into play while keeping Sargeant entirely unaware and "not interested in [it]." The snow covers everything, a perfect ISA, at once hindering Sargeant's progress by "seeping down his neck, cold, wet, [and] sopping in his shoes" (Hughes) and serving as a visual cue for the Reverend Mr. Dorset, who, upon opening the door, immediately notices the snow on Sargeant's face, it indicates that Sargeant has spent enough time outdoors (presumably not willingly) and, following the metaphorical concept of the snow, is under the influence or control of a state apparatus. In fact, Hughes' entire first paragraph focuses on how Sargeant does not acknowledge the presence of the snow. Seven paragraphs later, the first time Sargeant sees the snow, it invasively falls directly "into his eyes" (Hughes).

The issue of Sargeant's race is a counterintuitive one. Sargeant claims that his constant rejections were because "the beds were always gone and supper was over, the place was full, and," he adds as an afterthought, "they drew the color line anyhow" (Hughes). Given that the setting is the great depression, his race not being a major issue in this case is, at the very least, plausible. Instead of looking at Sargeant as being black, he can also be approached as simply not being part of those under the control of the ISA/RSA. This contrast is brought up several times; first when the Reverend notices the stark difference between Sargeant's black face and the white snow, and later again when everybody he meets, and is in conflict with, is white. The only instance of his race actually mattering is when Sargeant himself mentions it, acknowledging that he "knows it's a white folks' church" (Hughes). To fit in with the overall Marxist theme, Sargeant's blackness can be interpreted as his being of a different class than all the other characters, except color-coded for the reader's benefit.

Religion as an ISA plays a major role in On The Road. Upon seeing the snow, a metaphorical moment of awakening for Sargeant, he begins to push against the door, eventually breaking it down, allowing himself unsanctioned entry. In doing so, he does the opposite of what's expected of him as a good subject, "submission to the rules of the established order" (Althusser, 1485), going so far as literally smashing down the figurative representation of the ISA. The walk with Christ that follows his resulting sample of police brutality is likewise filled with metaphors. The first words to come out of Sargeant's delusion of Christ are "you had to pull the church down to get me off the cross," (Hughes) indicating that religion is itself a subject to those controlling it as an ISA.

The police, a perfect example of the RSA, focused on repressive means more than its ideological ISA counterpart, arrived "just when the [church] door gave way" (Hughes), coming to the rescue of failing ISA. Skipping past Sargeant's delusional walk with Jesus, we find him in a jail noticing that while his clubbed fingers are bruised, the club itself, representing the violent nature of the RSA, is not. In this way, the ISA is "behind a 'shield' provided by the RSA" (Althusser, 1492). The police officer who beats Sargeant while he's in his cell is implied to be enjoying it; there is no reason for him to insult Sargeant ("You crazy coon!") or to keep assaulting him other than to inflict pain. This parallels reality of the situation, where an RSA needs to exceed the necessary amount of force in order to uphold a certain level of intimidation.

Sargeant is an oblivious subject. This is blatantly visible from his initial inability to perceive the snow. His religious delusion is equally the work of an ISA. Even after the church has turned him down, he still turns to what it offers, religion and, by extension, Jesus, in a moment of need. His delusion also serves the double purpose of obscuring his removal from the church; we see his abuse at the church and at the jail, but we do not see the RSA physically ridding the ISA of the intruder. In this situation, the ISA is not able to do what it's primary goal intends for Sargeant. Instead, religion (as an ISA) offers what is seemingly an escape from his plight but is in actuality a gentle transition to the grasp of the RSA. Though Sargeant breaks through the ISA, he is not aware of it, which is perhaps the greatest accomplishment of the ISA: nullifying its own downfall. Sargeant does consumes the ideology not innocently, but without even knowing it exists; he stumbles through two ISAs, the cultural and the religious, and into the RSA without realizing it.

Racism's Perpetuation as a Result of Interest Convergence in the Post-Civil War American South

Barbara J. Fields argues that racism is an ideology that is perpetuated by the propagation of those who support it, consciously or innocently, and is therefore persistent and existent for as long as somebody advocates and believes in it. Given the penetration of racist thought through the American South prior to the conclusion of the Civil War, there remained many who believed in the concept of race, the justifying principles behind racism and the corrupted religious and pseudoscientific justifications that came bundled with it. As the Civil War was, in essence, fought by the South for the stability of their way of life, slavery included, and, by the end, was fought explicitly for the continuation of slavery, and thus racism, we can conclude that racist thoughts were not only present but actively defended and believed in, with many pouring significant amounts of resources into their, at the very least, extension.

Delving further into Fields' discussion on racism as an ideology, she claims that racism cannot exist by itself: it must be actively perpetuated by people. Because racism has no grounding in reality or rationality, racism will vanish as soon as nobody thinks of it and, conversely, will persist as long as somebody is thinking of it. Thus it becomes plain that those who racism benefits have it in their interest to make sure that as many people as possible believe in racism, so that their own power is strengthened and made increasingly stable.

What directly follows then, is evidence of interest convergence in the ruling class of the South; the upper class benefitted from racism and it was, as a result, the popular ideology of the time. This convergence is responsible for the deeply ingrained beliefs of even those who racism doesn't benefit and, as a result, for its continued existence. And that, in turn, is responsible for the racist attitudes that persisted after slavery itself was abolished.

Looking at the American South during and after Reconstruction, it is plain to see that although the North forced changes in society upon the South, it could not change society's perceptions. The resulting temporary failure of Reconstruction can then be attributed to the ongoing racist attitudes of the people within the changing society. Drawing material from examples given in class, the legal rights given to freed Blacks were hardly worth anything at all if they could not be exercised, such as, for example, when their lives were threatened at polling places. This also illustrates the sharp contrast between the laws in a land and the ideologies that the citizens within that land subscribe to. As long as those living in the South were racist, the ideology would persist no matter what laws or what military might the North tried to use.

Fields also points out a psychological aspect: the poor white farmers wanted to be superior to someone and so they readily accepted the racist propaganda brought forth by the rich. This desire made it easier to ignore the irrationality behind the entire matter and instead follow along, which, in the long run, helped sustain the heavily segregated and racist state of the South. In this situation, interest convergence is again the root cause for the perpetuation of racism even though the interests at play, a need to feel superior, are polar opposites from those of the rich, who actually are superior in respect to wealth and influence.

Fields' argument explains racism's lasting presence not only in the post-Reconstruction era American South but also in today's world. As a whole, racism is not something that the North could have eradicated as long as people believed in it, no matter what methods they tried. Time only lessened the extent of racism in the South yet it still has not been eradicated for the very same reasons as those at work during Reconstruction.

Sex Toy

There once was a maimed sheep.
Deep in the herd he stood.
There was a hungry wolf.
Deep in the woods he sat.
The two meandered, met.
There then was not much sheep.
There was a confused man.
"Aliens mutilate!"

Practicality

My sweet nothings, nothing could be as sweet,
or perhaps, if you wish, nothing so deep.
And then, if you desire, I'll devote
a metaphor or four, or maybe more,
to your description, the ascription of
lines of nothing but the most divine.
This is, of course, assuming that you can
reciprocate in kind with lines so as
to justify the hopefully worthwhile
hassle of writing down a ten line lie.